the heart is a lonely holiday

oh how i love christmases on my own!

christmas wasnt the same and i pissed. however i had fun.

it felt like any old day at the chelaks though. even thought it was fun, i just dont know. but then again im friggin moody as hell. its a morning on a saturday and im siting in bed. ooooo. last night is saw the curious case of benjamin button with kayla, kimmy, and kristal and it was soooooo goood. however, it was three hours long!! whew! thn we went back to kimmys and hung out for a while. haha good times. 

i miss sasha fierce!

gah im so bored. shoot me.

our town... friggin sucks

so i go to this lame ass party and it was lame so a few of us decided to leave for our own happy hour and then those plans got shot so a called everyone trying to find something to do. and without success, i drove my tush home. 

it doesnt feel like christmas and im ticked! normally i am all about me some christmas but two days from now itll be almost over and thats hella depressing. however it must feel weird cause this is the first christmas where i have actually purchased things for other people. i guess this giving this is taking away from all the excitement of receiving, as selfish as that sounds. 

i have had an eventful break so far though, which is nice. im not just sitting on my butt waiting for christmas to roll around. so i guess thats why it stuck up on me. 

while i am trying to have my great amazing break there is a thought that is always nipping at my brain. that harrison will leave in january. and while he wants to go i will just be selfish and say that i dont want him to. but he knows that. i think everyone knows that. im going to be stuck here alone with none of my best friends and it sucks. gahhhhhh.

but anyway. i guess im done. 

pickens sucks.

tonight sucked.

halleler in the church hallelur.

a portrait of the con artist as a young man

sometimes people dont know what they want. and sometimes people dont know who they are.

i am elated that the holiday season is among us. christmas time is the most wonderful tim of the year. or at least thats what the song said.

i am so unsure of my place right now

in the hearts and minds of many people. i am very confused. i dont know what people expect or want from me. maybe im just tired. i have been out of it these past few weeks; worrying about english, and trying to go to work and the theater every day. even though i just got home from math tonight i feel so relieved to not have to be at the playhouse. 

he said he mimght come friday, but her didnt. i didnt really expect him to either. but i imagined him standing there after it was over with a single rose waiting for me. a hug.

but some things are still left to the imagination. i do not know what will come of our untimely "frelationship". im tired of trying to think about it. 

the play is going well though. the kids are all the time driving us crazy but honestly, i wouldnt have it any other way. it makes for good conversation, bashing the small children. perhaps i will post a picture or several on my facebook tonight. 

miss me,

xoxo